Everyone cares, Bambi

So I've facing a bit of a dilemma. And I've only got myself to blame.

You see over the past weeks, I've been holding back. Holding back from saying what I want to on Facebook, on Twitter, on GTalk statuses. I find that the more I put up bits of me on exhibition for the world to see on the internet, the more I want to withdraw into a shell.

They say the internet's one of the places you can best be yourself but it isn't like that anymore. Your spelling mistakes are picked on, you end up being trolled if you have an opinion against public sentiment and online communities are frat houses where a select few makes the rules of social engagement and look with disdain at others who can't bear to toe the line.

And then there's the 'what will they think' bit? I'm constantly worrying about how my parents, relatives, boss, colleagues, friends and random strangers will react to gibberish I put up on Faceboook or Twitter. I find myself typing out entire tweets on my phone before hitting backspace or exiting Opera. There are times that I really want to say 'fuck' because it's the expletive that best suits what I'm feeling at that moment, and yet I'm wondering about who's going to read it and what they're going to think of me later.

Oh, you say you don't care? Everyone cares, Bambi.

Take Facebook. Once upon a time, it was almost mandatory to change my status daily and sometimes, even more than once in a day. However this August, I've had all of seven status changes, and hardly feel the need to update it anytime soon. It's stranger that I'm slowly beginning to lose appetite for 'likes' and 'RTs', when at one time I'd log on several times within an hour of putting stuff out to see whether someone had given my random musings their stamp of approval.

I need a break. I'm taking a break.